the umbrella of the gardener’s aunt is in the house

I was reading ‘The Moon and Sixpence‘  last night, saw this bit and something connected.

‘The only thing that seemed clear to me – and perhaps even this was fanciful – was that he was passionately striving for liberation from some power that held him. But what that power was and what line the liberation would take remained obscure. Each one of us is alone in the world. He is shut in a tower of brass, and can communicate with his fellows only by signs, and the signs have no common values, so that their sense is vague and uncertain. We seek pitifully to convey to others the  treasures of our heart, but they have not the power to accept them, and so we go lonely, side by side but not together, unable to know our fellows and unknown by them. We are like people living in a country whose language they know so little that, with all manner of beautiful and profound things to say, they are condemned to the banalities of the conversation manual. Their brain is seething with ideas, and they can only tell you that the umbrella of the gardener’s aunt is in the house.’

Somerset Maugham


I, frustrated

I am really frustrated as I feel I can’t communicate things that are deep inside me to people in a way that they’ll understand or even want to listen. Someone asked me last week if I liked writing and I tried to explain that I found it really hard to write, it makes me feel exhausted and at any rate I don’t feel particularly gifted with writing.
Yet here I am writing I suppose. But it’s alright typing how I’m feeling, but when it comes to things like expressing things I believe are wrong with the world or injustice, or if I want to point out beauty  or hope it drains me.

The biggest obstacle is trying to lose the word ‘I’. I dominates, especially on a blog and it makes you feel selfish in your writing. I don’t need to use the word I as much as I do. I don’t want my writing or art to be about me, but I’m not sure how to produce it with including me in it. See what I mean?