depression and healing (I’d love to wear a rainbow on my back)

I’m just thinking out loud here.
Last night I’d an unexpected offer from one family member who phoned me (completely out of the blue) asking/demanding that I come along with him to a religious meeting  in Lurgan on Friday night.

The details about who or what this meeting was about was shrouded in mystery.

I can’t stress how strange this offer was. He wanted me to ‘clean my my face’ and ‘will you come along with me to the meeting then?’.
When pressed what this mysterious meeting was actually about it seemed to be about healing with an ex priest and nun.

Basically I think that family members think I’m depressed and on the ropes generally in life and want me to be healed from something or other.

I’m not sure how I feel about this type of diagnosis and if I want ‘healed’ from what I have (if I’ve anything)

I find the idea of depression a strange phantom that rattles around because when does the normal experience and disappointments of life, those bitter experiences that mar us and make us feel naturally low become an illness that can be identified and treated?

Is feeling unhappy and gloomy for months on end and displaying natural unhappiness a sign that you’re sick in the head and or is it just natural part of living in a broken and sad world?

When a family member rings looking to bring you to a service of healing in some small Ulster town it’s like they’re ruling that the type of life you’ve been living is wrong,the vibes you send out are all wrong and should be rectified.

And if I was ‘healed’ from being so gloomy or negative would I be the same type of person or someone else? Would I be me?

Of course I don’t think that living negatively/fearfully is the way to go, or languishing with no hope of  redemption but life is hard isn’t it? How can we draw close to people in times of suffering if we haven’t suffered ourselves?

Anyway, Johnny Cash says it best. You’ll have to go to Youtube to watch mind


yeah though I walk through the Lagan Valley shadow of death//

it feels like the hedgerows are about to tumble down on top of me as I walk along the tow path between Derriaghy and Lambeg, under the red stone bridge, then the countryside opens up on one side, wide open fields and gently rolling hills in the distance, this is my favourite part of the tow path walk.

I’ve tried to love this walk over the last year, I really have tried to see the beauty that isn’t immediately obvious, but the green swamps me, dull green towers over my head, the canal muddy brown and still, still waters, yeah though I walk through the shadow of the Valley of Death, yeah though I walk through the  Lagan Valley of death.

why do we warm to some places and wilt in other places?

some of us are lying between two pebble dashed cliffs but….

3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings [c]
and crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:

7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,

8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.

9 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!