putting on a facade

I don’t mean to blow my own trumpet *he said after tweeting and putting it up on Facebook* but Canalways has won numerous awards!

When I was 7 or maybe 8 I won a cup for academic achievement. Or something like that. I was destined for good things.

Then a few years later I won it again. Double award winner Canalways!

If I remember correctly it was a cup for the boy (in my class of 6 lads) who was most likely to ‘succeed’.
Or was most improved.

Was that the year I also won the potato and spoon race as well?
Who knows, who cares!
All you need to know is that I’m an award winner.
So I must be good and completely trust worthy and have something extra. People don’t just handed out awards for nothing do they?

A bit like that pub that serves award winning food from an award giver that you’ve never heard off.
You know that the food is going to be good as they are an award winner and a have a bronze thing outside the door.
You are eating chips and notice that the potatoes are ‘100% Irish’. The meat is ‘100% Irish’.

Or the award winning beer that I enjoyed last night. It got an award so it must be good. Awards are good.

Those places to eat that won awards back in the late 80’s? Clearly that standard has been maintained in the intervening 25 years so you can trust that award. My coffee has a good taste award from 200_ so clearly it will still be a good coffee now. When you see companies displaying awards (even if they are from ages ago) you know that they are good.

Yes,you can always trust awards and you can always trust the things people say about themselves.

So you write songs and record them at home, then put them up on the internet, a few people in places that aren’t Ireland say ‘Hey, I liked that first bit of that song you wrote’?

You are now an internationally acclaimed singer-songwriter (of sorts)

Someone from places that aren’t Ireland possibly said that to me once so I’m going to take it that I’m an internationally acclaimed singer-songwriter.An award winning internationally acclaimed singer songwriter, producer and lyricist to be precise.

I’ve spoken in  various churches across Ireland so I’ll just change that to ‘communicator’ and ‘story teller’.

So in some vague yet true sense I could be an:-

‘Award winning and internationally acclaimed lyricist, singer-songwriter with a passion for communicating. He has communicated to numerous audiences throughout the island of Ireland and did he mention he blogs to thousands of people (aggregated over many years and including spambots) and once won the potato and spoon race and was picked out of numerous applicants to receive a Britain’s tractor set in the Sheehy’s toy shop competition of ’85?
He likes reading and cooking in his spare time. And birds. And cous cous.’

To change tact.

There is a place down the road that talks about street food. It’s in a building. Am I wrong to think that isn’t really street food then?
A vendor on the street is selling street food. You’re eating street food if you’re on a street. If you go into a building, order at the counter and go to a table in that building it’s not street food. Not a big deal but you know. You’re claiming something about yourself that is not strictly true.

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Or if you draw a picture by hand then copy it and print 100 copies of it to sell that those aren’t hand drawn pictures, they’re computer prints of a hand drawn picture. Not a big deal but you’re claiming something about yourself that is not strictly true.

Or when a film advertisement appears on the side of a bus (usually a sign that it’s a bad film) with words like

‘..the summer block buster of ’15’
Bobby Filmcritic, The Film Magazine

(actual words….’this terrible movie should have bee the summer block buster of ’15 but they messed it up bad)

Again you’re claiming something about yourself that is not strictly true.

Anyway, I don’t know why I’m ranting about this. Or maybe I do.
It’s just the facade that people and business, society in general portrait in order to get ahead, the outward appearance that you’re one thing while out the back it’s not that like that.

I am just wary about claims and a bit jaded. People blowing their own trumpet. Businesses spinning and green washing. The illusions and half truths. People on social media putting out only half truths.

Part of the reason is for weariness is that you become a bit skeptical and reluctant to trust the claims people make.

The worst place to see it is in Christian circles, churches. Don’t bluff it! Gimme the truth! Don’t create the illusion that everything is  sexy and easy! Don’t stick everything through a filter! Don’t project a facade about yourself! Don’t be worldly!

On my part I shouldn’t project a facade about myself, that I’m something other than I am. I’m messed up and chaotic, inept and broken, scared and confused. Sometimes I’ll put up jokes on social media but that doesn’t mean that I’m happy all the time.

I claim to be unhappy with the facade and mask, that I want ‘the truth’ but the truth is I’m scared of the truth. I want to hide from the truth.

So although I’ve just spent 800 words going on about facades, things not quite being what they seem, about wanting reality I sort of don’t.
I am afraid of how to cope if I saw the reality of what was really going on. The truth is I’m a hypocrite as well. I say I want something a certain way but I don’t really. This is a facade as well because I’m projecting the image that I want more truth and honesty but the truth is I don’t. It might complicate things.

I guess you could say I’m claiming something about myself that is not strictly true. I often project an image of myself that is not the whole picture. Don’t we all?

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