(edit- forgot why I was originally writing this. I’ll probably cut back on the blogging the next few months…’thank goodness ‘everyone said)
Last year I tried to write and record a song/bit of music for all the days in Lent but it took me down some pretty dark tunnels so I stopped at about 20 or 30, I can’t remember. The intention at the time was to Lament at Lent but to not wallow in the exile and instead record another 40 songs between Easter and Pentecost of resurrection and life. Or something like that at any rate.
The lamenting pulled me down too much but I keep thinking that I should try it this year. There are a couple of things that are holding me back
1 I find it infinitely easier to write a song of pity and naval gazing than something hopeful and joyful. Basically it seems like trying to say something bigger than you and your world or not being so selfish and self absorbed, to see the bigger picture.
2 I can’t sing anymore. Not that I could ever really ‘sing’ but there is something awkward about hearing your own voice especially when you don’t really like it.
3 My computer is broken so burning down CD’s is hard. Nothing that can’t be fixed there though, that’s a crap excuse.
4 I just wonder what the point is. So many songs that you can put in quite a bit of effort (relatively speaking) and not get much feedback or response from people. In one way I don’t mind not getting feeback as I don’t really want to be stuck in front of people singing, on the other hand I suppose that we all need to know that we didn’t engage in a completely futile engagement.
Or maybe we just need to not care if we get approval from people and do it for the enjoyment and the right motives.
I’ve always wanted to try and find it in me to write more positive, life affirming songs rather than writing about how I feel or being pissed off with God. The closest I ever felt was in trying to write a song for all the birds I’ve seen, a project which I’ve always wanted to continue.
So basically, I’m going to write as many joyful and resurrection songs as I can between Easter and Pentecost based around birds. Then we’ll see what we’ve got.